Breaking Freaking News: Gwenyth Paltrow Selling New Diet Book In Which You Can Eat Something Like Three Things


Are people this stupid that they will buy this book? I mean really. You can basically eat salmon, hummus or vegetables. It seems the whole premise of this diet book is based on how few items you can eat.

You can’t eat lobster. No deep water fish like cod or haddock, no coffee, no eggs, no beef, no dairy, no wheat, no wine, no alcohol, no sugar.


You know what? Screw Gwenynth MF Paltrow and her three item cookbook. I’m coming out with the Joey MF C Diet book if it’s that easy and I’ll make it so you can only eat two things. Stick that in your scrawny ass Gwenyth. By my math two is less than three and I’ll take my two over her three any day.

Here it is, (and if you read past this line you’ll be required by copyright restrictions to PayPal me $19.99 to be privy to my super advanced- “Less Ingredients Than Gwenyth Paltrow’s Diet Book-Diet Book”. Like the title?

Get Ready…..Wait For It………..

The Less Ingredients Than Gwenyth Paltrow’s Diet Book-Diet Book

Lobsters and Bloody Marys. All MF day long.

Oh and exercise. Get off your ass and move your body. Til you sweat. At least five times a week. Any movement. That makes you sweat. At least five times a week. See, if you’re sweating that means your heart rate is elevated and you’re burning calories.

Since you’re reading this you obviously know that you are obligated by penalty of law to pay me for the incredible amount of scientific research I put into this forward thinking diet book.
Guaranteed results or your PayPal payment refunded. Is Gwenyth MF Paltrow willing to back up her Diet Book like your boy Joey C?

$19.99 PayPal to your boy Joey MF C- Life Coach and Motivational Speaker


Toodeloos Kevin Safe and Sound

Kevin is back in front of Toodeloos enjoying his perpetual tea party. Rubber Duck was so happy to see him back she brought some of her friends by.


All of Kevin’s stuffing seems to be in the right place and except for a touch of lipstick on his collar none the worse for wear. Actually Kevin’s fur seems a little shinier than it was yesterday and when asked where he was all night he just grins.


Surprise for Joey

len burgess duck

Let’s all chip in and get one of these for Joey as a welcome home present. We could put it in the parking lot at Capt. Joe & Sons with its butt sticking in the big door and the rest of him taking up half the parking lot. I’m sure Frankie wouldn’t mind. When Joey comes tearing in the driveway and around the corner, he’ll see nothing but a big yellow duck. We could have a welcome home sign hanging from its bill. Shhh, let’s keep it a secret. Since he can’t get wifi, he won’t be able to see it here.

E.J. Lefavour

photo submitted by Len Burgess

Local rising star profiled in Northshore Magazine

Chelsea Berry from the Northshore Magazine feature story

Last week (in this post) we warned you against waiting until the last minute to get tickets to see Chelsea Berry  at Shalin Liu on Feb 9.

You may have thought we were just helping  promote her concert, but you’d be wrong.  That concert will sell out.  Chelsea Berry doesn’t need our help promoting it.  That’s because she’s a rising star, which is precisely why Northshore Magazine chose to feature her in their latest issue (see here).

We posted the warning so you wouldn’t miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see her debut new music with her new band at one of the most spectacular venues anywhere on Earth.

It won’t be long before tickets to a Chelsea Berry concert will cost at least a hundred bucks, they’ll sell out in a day, and even if you’re lucky enough to get them, you’ll very likely be a lot farther from the stage than the last row at Shalin Liu is.  Plus you’ll have to drive an hour and pay for parking.

Don’t take our stellar talent and venues here on Cape Ann for granted.  Look at it this way: It’s a Sunday in the dead of winter, yet there’s plenty of good live music to choose from tonight.  See the lineup here.

BREAKING NEWS: Kevin the Panda is safe.

Deb Clark spotted Kevin the Panda early this morning and he has now been reunited with Susan and Toodeloos. Rubber Duck will be down this afternoon for tea with Kevin to get the full story. It looks like there was too much heat around this Pandanapping. Toodeloos had posted a video of the woman with long brown hair in a dark car who pandanapped Kevin. The next morning Kevin appears.

Only in Gloucester!

From Toodeloos Facebook page:

Origami boxes and containers at The Hive!

Plain boxes, fancy boxes, boxes with lids from one sheet of paper, boxes made from multiple units…. I will be teaching these and/or similar models, according to the skill and interests of the students, on Thursday, January 24 at 7PM, at The Hive (on Pleasant Street).  Materials will be provided.   I will post more information soon about how to RSVP and about the fee for participation (to pay for materials and to support The Hive) as soon as I have it.

Also, if there is interest in classes on additional themes, please let me know! I would like to do one class a month at The Hive, but that depends somewhat on how busy I am at the parish and on the level of interest and participation.  I can probably find material to cover  just about any theme (dinosaurs, flowers, dragons, horses, frogs, insects…) although how much we can do depends somewhat on the experience of the students.

Fr. Matthew Green

HarborWalk Public Art Challenge Budgets $47,000- Call For Art FAQ Part 1


Catherine Ryan writes-

Hi Joey,

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions that the Committee for the Arts has received from artists as they are going about applying for the Gloucester HarborWalk Public Art Challenge:

Topping the list: What if an artist has more than one proposal? What do they do?

Q: Can I propose more than one concept?
A: Yes. The Call specifies that artists may submit up to two (2) concept/proposals.For clarification, a submission may be submitted by a collaborative team, but each Artist may only be associated with up to two (2) proposals. However, do not enter two concepts in one proposal.

Q. Can I propose photography?

  1. Yes. From the complete call:


We’re talking sculpture, murals, light installations, dance performance, theater, print edition, symphony, etc, etc

“With the footprint for this CALL, there are unlimited possible exhibition and unexpected and surprising spaces for the creative art(s) and other programming. The City of Gloucester encourages artists working in all creative arts to apply. There are no media restrictions: all media and art forms will be considered. Media and artforms for public art projects might include but are not limited to: visual art; place-making, singular event (e.g., sculpture, multi-media, interactive, illumination, integrated); temporary or ephemeral installations (e.g., panels, light, etc); performance work of all kind (e.g., symphony, dance, theater, spectacle/action within the footprint, etc) static or roving; participatory works; transformation of surfaces or extant structures; projection; event-based work; and environmentally-based work.”