Public Toilet Seat Nest or Public Toilet Bowl Landing Pad, What Ya Got?

I was reading one of my favorite websites, www.barstoolsports.com a couple days ago and the genius writer David Portnoy goes on to explain how if you don’t build a nest around the toilet seat that you are deranged.  See the photo below of Mr Portnoy’s technique-

Quote-

There is being a tough guy and then there is being an idiot. Not building a force field is just plain stupid

BarstoolSports photo:

My theory is a bit different.  I feel that much more scary and caveman is to not build a landing pad for your turds so you don’t get that dreaded blue splash-back.

You want your poop to land gently on the pad and the half a roll of toilet paper you crumple up at the bottom of the toilet to diffuse the splash so it doesn’t come back and hit your undercarriage.  I think the splash-back is one hundred billion times more nasty than sitting on a seat that’s been cleaned several times a day.

Nothing worse than getting that blue stuff that’s all mixed up with god only knows whose poop and pee on your junk.

That’s just plain common sense and that’s why I always go with the toilet bowl landing pad over the toilet seat nest.

I go through about half a roll building my landing pads up but hey I gotta insure there’s no chance that any of that disgustingness ever comes up and splashes me.

Here’s the Joey C Patented Toilet Bowl Landing Pad Half Way Built Up-

What Ya Got?

We Must Protect This House!!!!