Say you’re driving along on 128 and there is this car up your rear end so you decide to switch lanes. You then see this car zip past you and start weaving in and out of cars up ahead. Traffic slows down a bit so you meet up with this car once again. You get a good look at the driver and it happens to be a teenage driver, not any teenager but you know the parents.
Do you call the parents and tell them what you saw? OR
Do you leave it alone because it’s “none of your business”?
Thoughts?
Good Morning Gloucester 
After having raised four kids, three of them boys, I appreciated whenever a parent I knew told me my boys had been doing something dangerous; and I was angry at other parents for those times when they did not tell me and I later found out on my own. Once one of my boys was stopped for speeding shortly after he got his license and a new used car for him and his brother to share. The police officer asked my son who would be the most disappointed and upset about his behavior and he sheepishly said his mom. The policeman made my son call me and tell me what had happened. I didn’t believe it at first–I thought it was a teen prank–and when the cop got on the phone to tell me this was a serious situation, I laughed and accused him of being one of my son’s friends–because MY Eagle Scout son wouldn’t do such a bonehead thing immediately after getting his license and a car! I was severely chastised by the cop, as was my son, by me and the cop both! He was totally humiliated. That was his punishment–a call to his mother (!) and a very harsh warning that the next time he would lose his license and be hauled off to the police department. Needless to say we took the car away for a good long while. So, YES I do think everyone, especially other parents, have a duty to report dangerous behavior. It could save a child’s life.
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Good thing that was the hardest part of the lesson and didn’t get hurt. When I think back at my teenage years I thought I was invincible. My senior year I got 2 speeding tickets in one week and no one called my parents. I use to race on 128 and can’t believe we were never caught or I didn’t get killed. I thank my lucky stars nothing happened but am scared as anything for when my children drive.
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I go with what I’d want to have happen if it’s my kid and I make the call. Better than getting a call that there’s been a terrible accident and knowing I may have been able to stop it.
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Keep your mouth shut, as much as u want to say something.
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I know there are people that think the same way as you Pam but wouldn’t it be hard if you didn’t say something and they got killed in an accident?
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or even worse, wouldn’t it be hard if you didn’t say something and they ended up killing a mom, dad and their 2 infant children when they crashed into them or made them swerve off the highway?
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I would confront the teenager involved, let them know what I saw and give them option of telling their parents, indicating that I may or may not do so myself at some point…
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I suppose it depends, are you friend’s with this teenager’s parents? Then ya, tell them. No? Maybe you just call the police and giv ethem the licence number of the car that is ‘driving to endanger’ and let them deal with it. Sorry but a car is not something to experiment and make mistakes with
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No brainer-call the parents. This puts peoples lives in danger.
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Have someone you know and trust call the parents and say you wish to remain anonymous… that way you can alert parents without feeling awkward?
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I had a friend that asked how he could make his Lotus 7 (lightweight British sports car) safe for his 16 year old kid.
My response? Sell it!
Turns out his kid didn’t wreck it. But, he let a friend drive it and he totaled it. Thank gawd nobody got hurt.
Me? The family rule was nobody got a license before age 18….. And, I had flown solo in an airplane at 16. So, a car really wasn’t a real big deal at that point.
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Definitely tell the parents. Be careful how you say it but say it. As a parent I would want to know. Kids need to learn that they live in a community. They are responsible for their actions even when they think no one is looking.
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+1
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My parents seem to always know when I had done something stupid. I never learned the sources of their knowledge, but it seemed as though everyone in Gloucester knew at least one of my parents. Definitely let the parents know! It will be better for the young person in the end.
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First I would wave at them and talk to them when we got home. Talking to the teenager and maybe giving them a pass could make a difference. When raising our four kids, used to say, it takes a village to bring up kids and keep them safe.
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I clearly remember driving a friend to Manchester airport on interstate when a young man sped by, weaving in and out of afternoon traffic. We dropped back and let him get a head, but then traffic totally stopped. After a short while, it was obvious that we weren’t going any where, so I got out of the car to look up the road and see what was up. That’s when I saw this young man’s car upside down and horizontal across the road. Time just stopped. I knew I didn’t want that memory any more detailed in my mind, so I stayed where I was, but my friend ventured closer. She discovered that the young man who had just passed us a minute ago had clipped someone and spun out of control, hitting a large boulder on the side of the road. He was ejected through the windshield and his car was then hit by someone else, causing his car to spin into the middle of the road. It’s a miracle that no one else was killed, but this once vibrant young man was no more. We had to wait for an hour and half before traffic was rerouted in the opposite direction on 93. Of course my friend missed her plane, but what has stayed with me was what this careless young man missed.
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Tell the parents but don’t expect them to thank you – they may even get mad at you. And tell the kid next time you see him driving like that you’ll call the state troopers.
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I’d say something to the parents. Preface it with “I know he’s young and figuring this stuff out and I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, but if the roles were reversed I’d want someone to tell me if my kiddo was doing something dangerous…”. If they get angry at you, that’s on them. Hopefully the kiddo will be spoken to and may or may not learn a lesson, and you’ll have a clear conscience.
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Say something to them on personal level – how you say it will make a world of difference hopefully. My older sister bought me at the Barnacle Bill Bazar a little grab bad when I was in the first grade it had a little plastic police badge and a whistle when mom was not looking I pinned the badge on and stood in front of Kenny’s store on Washington street playing traffic cop – until my first Grade teacher Ms Ginns (old Lanesville school teacher- now a playground) pulled over and brought me home under protest…That’s the one thing I remember most about growing up that way like everything in life the foundation is where it all starts, lessons you carry in your briefcase for life! “Looking the other way never solves anything 🙂 Dave & Kim 🙂
The Hollies – He Ain’t Heavy He’s My Brother (lyrics on screen & in description)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYzfTdIZoP0
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Say something to the parents. This kid would not listen to you. If the parents are intelligent and love their child, they will be very happy you said something. Many parents are idiots, so they will blame you. It takes a community….
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Great post Alicia! So happy you posted about this topic. The responses are interesting and clearly split. Unfortunately I’m currently struggling with this very issue, after seeing a friends child drive exactly as you describe recently on 128. I have my fingers, arms and legs crossed that the kid doesn’t kill him self or someone else, and I pry to God that I don’t have to live with quilt of not taking action. Personally as a victim of a car accident, and a parent of twins who await a driving test to be licensed I would want to know, but understand that many believe one should mind their own business.
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