Is there anything worse when you’re dining out and the person you are eating with doesn’t say please or thank you to the wait staff?
Like when the waitperson asks what you would like to eat and the person you’re dining with says “I’m gonna have the split pea soup.” Not “I’d like the split pea soup please.” Not “May I please have the split pea soup. “ But “I’ll have the split pea soup.”
Like the wait person is a filthy animal not worthy of a please or thank you.
Makes me want to crawl under a table.
I see it more with old curmudgeonly types.
Just the worst.
Good Morning Gloucester 
Oh! I love this one! MY worst pet peeve is when the person your dining with won’t make eye contact with the waiter, waitress, or bartender (silly mistake there). They order while looking at the menu and never even bother raise their head to look at the person. So embarrassing.
LikeLike
Oh mannnnn, HATE THAT!
They usually go hand in hand, the not looking at the server and not saying please and thank you.
Terrible!
LikeLike
As my Nonnie said, you should always be polite, pleasant and positive, the 3 P’s
LikeLike
Joey, it is not just crusty old men as you implied, but is younger ungrateful people, who feel they entitled.
Manny
This Crusty Old Man, always says “Please and Thank You”
LikeLike
Are you kidding me, you are the personification of the word curmudgeonly!!!
LikeLike
That’s poor manners. How about a bartender who doesn’t smile or doesn’t politely greet you. Not even a question like “what would you like”? I get having a bad day…but just rude. Maybe we should hook up your diner and my bartender?
LikeLike
What’s worse is when the customer is on his phone and when the waitress comes over to take his order he continues talking on the phone and points at the items he wants on the menu. That waitress should have told him, “I’ll come back when you’re done on the phone” and made him wait and wait and wait… There is no excuse for rudeness. ( I apologize if this posts twice. WordPress made me reset my password and I don’t know if the first post went through.)
LikeLike
As someone in the industry for 20 years its remarkable to me how often that line between served and servant is drawn by the discourteous customer. It comes across as “gimme, boy”. Gross. Rude. Manners are learned. My daughter addresses staff by name. “Thank you, kayla”. “Maria, I’d like…”. Guess who gets the royal treatment and not the “long slow walk” back with her dessert?
LikeLike
I think there is a problem with addressing strangers as if they are friends, i.e., by their first names. It suggests a familiarity that you do not have and is not appropriate. I think it makes the server feel “invaded” and she/he has no choice, right? Sorry if this sounds old-fashioned. Anyone else have thoughts on this? This is not just about restaurants, but doctors’ offices, anything where you don’t know some one personally.
LikeLike
I too worked in the industry for years. Once, when I replied, “Yes, sir” to an order, my older male customer said, “Good girl.” To which I barked like a dog “Woof! Woof!” Everyone at his table laughed at him.
FYI: T.I.P. means To Insure Promptness. Good servers know how to serve and work the floor well. BUT there are some weak links out there. I always loved hustling their tables from under their lazy asses because they didn’t know better.
Bex
LikeLike
This is one of the main reasons why I want my kids to work in a restaurant. I think I have raised them correctly and they are very considerate and polite but there is nothing like working the line to get this across big time. I worked in restaurants, mostly busting the suds out back but the life skills learned in those jobs are still paying dividends.
Life is what you make it. I think I will end with a quote from Elwood P Down from the play, “Harvey”. A good quote to live by. I usually fail at it miserably but occasionally I get it right.
Elwood P. Dowd: Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” – she always called me Elwood – “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.
(Jimmy Stewart played Elwood if you want to get the voice right in your head.)
LikeLike
I’ve also been there for “I’m gonna do the split pea soup”- no please, no thank you, person didn’t look up. “Do” split pea soup? Ugh.
LikeLike
How about some rude wait staff. I’ve seen that sometimes too….
LikeLike
I had a minister once tell me that he judged potential associates by the way they treated wait staff. Good point!
LikeLike
Also when you dine with a friend and they undertip. It’s embarrassing.
LikeLike
OK, now that the can of worms has been opened: Where did the reply “Have a good one” come from instead of a “thank you” or “Have a nice day”?
Is it just me but when I am sent out the door at a restaurant or as I leave the cashier at Market Basket and the bagger says, “Have a good one” I think this reply should only be uttered by the madame when I am heading up the stairs at a whorehouse.
Have a good one! Thanks, I will!
LikeLike
Actually, when someone tells me cheerily to “have a nice day”, I respond (facetiously): “Well, thank you very much…. but I have other plans!”
LikeLike
How about “No problem.”
LikeLike
Amen!
LikeLike
Whats worst a friends Manners or a friend that doesn’t tip well? I think we need that pet peeve of the day section!
LikeLike
My pet peeve in the “South” is when the waitstaff calls you “Sweety” or Darl’n- I’m neither their Sweety or Darl’n…..and I find this offensive….
LikeLike
While dining in Florida on a chilly winters day I, wearing a leather jacket, had just been seated with the lady I was escorting when a waitress came by and stumbled spilling a cheese dressing on my shoulder. Leather being easy to clean and having seen how the hospitality business is a tough trade replied, “I ordered Italian” and a splendid time was had by all.
LikeLike
The restauranteur who wrote “Kitchen Confidential” once advised that treating your waiter/waitress nicely was the smartest thing you could ever do when eating out….. while dining at an upscale restaurant in NYC a few years ago, I made a point of engaging the waiter (who appeared Hispanic), in conversation… my daughter also spoke to him in fluent Spanish and he was delighted. At the end of the dinner he appeared with a bottle of fine port which he said was “on him”. Treating people with respect has its rewards!
LikeLike
Andrew Bourdain wrote “Kitchen Confidential”. Fascinating book, and a must read for anyone thinking of opening a restaurant.
LikeLike
Do you mean Anthony Bourdain, he may have a brother Andrew ?
Anthony Michael Bourdain is an American chef, author, and television personality. He is well-known for his 2000 book Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly.
LikeLike
You’re right! Anthony wrote the book and is also a a chef and on TV, including CNN.
LikeLike
Thanks, Joey. I couldn’t agree more. Some people need a refresher course in etiquette.
LikeLike
I waitress and bartend on the weekends at a restaurant in Jamaica Plain. I get the “gimme the…” or “Imma have the…” from customers at least once per shift, it’s pretty rude. Sunday, I was waiting on a table and I said, “What else can I bring over for you? (or some iteration thereof) and the middle aged woman at the table (who was dining with her husband and her mother, both of whom were lovely) picked up her empty coffee mug and just shook it at me. In a moment of snarkiness, I replied, “oh, you’d like some more coffee? I’ll be right back with that” with a big smile on my face. When really, what I wanted to do was clothesline her with her brunch plate…
LikeLike
One thing that irks me in some restaurants is when you put cash down to pay your bill, and your server asks if you’d like any change. I bought two beers at a well known Downtown restaurant last week, and only had a $20 bill. The bartender asked if I needed change for a $9 tab (110% tip). I laughed. A few years ago, Janet and I had dinner and a beer at another Gloucester restaurant. The bill came to $40, and I put down $60. The bartender said: “Come back again” as he scooped up the money and walked away (50% tip and the service was lousy). We never went back. What I expect is: “I’ll be right back with your change.” If we don’t need change for the check plus the tip, we either say “It’s all set” or “It’s all for you, thanks.” We always leave a 20% tip and occasionally more is the service and food are both excellent.
LikeLike