I’ve been thinking about this for years…as it is something that I’m conscious of and pretty particular about each and every time we go out to eat….especially with the kids. So, here’s the question… Do you clean up the table to help out your waiter or waitress or do you leave it as is? Or does it depend on the degree of the mess?
I’m a big fan of doing what I can to make order of the mess. I am admittedly more than a bit obsessive compulsive, so it is probably 60% because I feel like I honestly should and 40% because I can’t bear to not do it.
I’m a big fan of wiping down the table, stacking plates, placing silverware neatly on one dish….and even scraping leftover food onto one dish so that the wait staff doesn’t have to scrape each individual plate. I’ve been told that I go too far on more than one occasion.
I should also add that with a very brief exception (one summer vacation), I’ve never worked in a restaurant so it isn’t out of any kind of kinship…I think of it rather as common courtesy.
On that note, when the boys were smaller…and hence messier, I was known to pick up the debris that lay like shrapnel all over the floor after the breakfast battle of pancakes and scrambled eggs. How could I not? But I can still hear my friend’s voice saying, “Could you please stop doing that?” as I was under a high chair picking up scraps of rejected food.
So, by the end of a fantastic evening at the Studio the other night our table was covered with no fewer than 25 dishes. With three adults and four children..with pretty refined palates…we managed to knock down one salad, one bowl of chowder, one pizza, one fish and chips, one order of edamame, one order of chicken dumplings, six platters of sushi (don’t forget the 4 little bowls of soy sauce), four desserts (might I add those were a lovely surprise, on the house, delivered by the manager especially for the kids), tons of silverware, and a bunch of glasses.
Even with well-behaved kids who are old enough to not make any extra or over-the-top kinds of messes, the table was an absolute disaster. I could never, in a million years, have felt ok about simply sitting there as things were cleaned up around me. I made a meek attempt to stack, straighten, consolidate, and wipe….while simultaneously being told nicely to leave it alone by our waiter. It is worth mentioning that the same waiter and a co-worker of his shooed me away repeatedly as I tried to help clean up the chocolate milk that Finn had spilled on the floor. OK….I realize I just said that the kids are old enough to not make any extra or over-the-top messes….but, that was a total accident and it was a really big glass compared to his little hands! Bygones. In case the picture isn’t painted well enough….allow me to make it clearer….that is a FANTASTIC staff over there at the Studio. But, I digress.
What’s your Modus Operandi when it comes to post dining dish etiquette? I’d really like to know. Anyone in the restaurant business care to chime in also?
Good Morning Gloucester 
I’m that guy exactly.
Stacking the plates and putting the silverware on top so the waitress can swoop in and take it all away easily.
Yep, exactly that guy.
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DITTO!!! And I also turn my fork over when I’m done with my dinner, so the server will know I’m finished.
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I also tidy up the table, and have taught my daughter to clean up around the high chair when her babies drop food on the floor. I have also been a waitress and feel insulted when parents simply walk away from their children’s mess.
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I do tend to stack the plates and leave them at the end of the table for easy access for the wait staff. When my children were very young, I almost always would pick up the mess around their seats, floor and all, as best as I could. I have been a waitress, and I always thought I did it because of that.
That being said, I also appreciate it when the wait staff tries to keep the table clear after plates are empty. It is much nicer when my soup bowl is cleared either when my dinner gets to the table, or before that. I get frustrated trying to move things around to fit all the plates. Most good servers do clear the plates or bowls, as they see the need. But there are a few out there who don’t, and it is those times when I may not stack and clean up. I don’t know why, probably because I don’t want to help them as much.
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As a former server, I can”t help but try to make my servers job a little easier. I put all used paper products on a plate, stack plates, and push them towards the end of the table so the server can pick them up easily. When my kids were small, I also would pick up anything they dropped on the floor. Like Donna Summers said, servers, “work hard for the money”. Always happy to help them.
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I also go into Mom-mode and try to sort, stack and consolidate the table’s remains. I, also, have been told to stand down but onwards I go. 🙂 I enjoy your posts Nichole!
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A kindred spirit. I do the same thing and get the same responses, mostly from my grown children. I’ve decided I really do it for me and I’m fine with that.
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Always help a good waiter or waitress. It’s deplorable how some people with young children (many too young to be in a restaurant in the first place), leave a table looking like a bomb went off. Clean up after yourselves!
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I tidy up the table as well, not so difficult to do to help out the staff..
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Yup, I also help the waitress out–mostly when dining with the grandkids. “Dining” isn’t a very accurate term for the actual carnage that ensues! It really does look like a bomb went off. But then, I am one of those people who washes dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
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Yes! I love this! I worked in a tex-mex restaurant in Texas for well over 10 years, and let me tell you, it was always a gift when the customer helped out a little. And yes, my wife and I do our best to organize the dishes, etc. to make things easier for the wait staff. Always. And I’m hyper vigilant about picking up nearly every little piece of rice left behind by my kids when we eat at Taco Lupita. That’s probably my OCD. We’re all in this together, so why not pitch in to make things more pleasant overall?
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Right on Nicole! Just being courteous and cleaning up after ourselves is all good. Its always nice when you try and cleanup after your little one off the floor, and they say, please dont worry about it. And… whenever the restaurant makes you and your kids feel totally welcome, you’ll be back. We had the same excellent experience as well.
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When dining out with friends (no children), I haven’t noticed anyone preparing other guest’s dinnerware for removal. During the meal, I’ll put used paper products (butter and sugar packets, etc) on a small plate already used. Also, not everyone finishes their meal at the same time. I wouldn’t like the table to be cleared by another diner or the waitstaff if I were still eating or wanted to take home leftwovers. I’d feel like I was being rushed.
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Enjoy the meal!!! I was a restaurant owner. Unless your kids make an excessive mess then leave the cleaning to the server for what they get paid for and what you have paid for. Why go out is you feel the need to clean up after unless you simply or your family simply does not want to cook. Enjoy the journey however that said, if the enjoyment and pleasure is to actually help out then do the right thing for yourself! Be Happy! Clean up! I am sure the server appreciates leaving early!!!! It’s all in the personal reward in this case….
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I also keep a neat table and bar area after dining out. That being said, having worked in the F & B industry for years I can’t help being annoyed with all that stuff on your table. Yeah servers get busy at times and also some places either work as a team or not, but as a server you never walk by a finished plate without removing it. You also need to be sure other guests are not offended by feeling rushed. It can be a slippery slope. Never should the gentleman’s dish be cleared before the ladies. No brainer but you’d be surprised. Ok, sorry I’ve gone on a bit but this is a huge pet peeve;, I hope your check didn’t arrive before that table got cleared?
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I, too, clean up the table and stack the dishes for the waiters and waitresses. Why not? You’re sitting around the table talking and the dishes are right in front of you. I feel it’s the least I can do for these people who work so hard for a minimum wage. I also tip more than 20%.
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