Just when I get out of the lobster roll rating game, one so horrendous comes along that it pulls me back in.

Here I am at the dock at 5:57PM after coming in at 2:30AM to offload a trailer load of stinky 55 gallon drums of herring so my lobstermen can have bait to go fishing this week.

Just waiting for the last boat to come in to offload their catch so I can go home, eat dinner with my lovely bride, get some rest and what gets pushed at me?

This challenge via twitter-


I’m tired.  I’m cranky.  And I’ve been retired from the horrendous lobster roll shaming business for a couple of years now but they couldn’t help themselves could they?  They had to come at me.  Well if we must…


Aaaaand where do I begin?

This might take the cake.  It really might.

From leaving the spongy tips of the pincer claws in, to the roll that doesn’t have the exposed white part of a New England Style bun to butter and grill, to the seeds that undoubtedly leave you walking out of the restaurant with bits all stuck up in your gums looking like a dope.  The typical easy to spot violation- green stuff.  In this case avocado. How many times do we have to go over nothing green should ever touch your lobster roll.  It’s all either filler (in the case of lettuce or celery) or takes away from the most perfect of all flavors- lobster meat mixed with melted butter or mayo.

What in the hell is so hard to understand?

I think it’s an insecurity thing probably.

They’re not confident enough so they gotta go and throw all this trendy bullshit in to try to create a buzz.

Oooooh! Ahhhh! It’s served on a squid ink roll.  Frankly dear I don’t give a damn.  Pear and avocado-  Ooooh! Ahhhh! Again, don’t care.  Don’t distract me from the main event, THE LOBSTER.

Look Jason Pramas the writer in the article here fell for it.  I bet he’s a Yankees fan.  Probably has pictures of A-Rod on the ceiling over his bed.  Wouldn’t surprise me in the least.  Poor guy has his name attached to this atrocity.

He’s going to have to live with it but that doesn’t mean we have to.

We all know how it’s done right and this puke on a roll ain’t it.

Sorry kids this is a big fat- FAIL.

I’m sure they are really nice well intentioned people but please get that shit outta here-

Here are some of the other hall of fame horrendous lobster roll inductees-


Posted on June 3, 2013 by Joey C

Bastardized Lobster Roll on Tap Today At Gloucester Gourmet

Posted on June 26, 2012 by Joey C

What Is Wrong With People???? Another Lobster Roll Disaster From Some Broads In California

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Joey C

The Broads Out In California Try To Defend The Undefendable

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Joey C

What Does a $50 Lobster Roll Look Like???????

Posted on December 21, 2010 by patrickr

Grandma Ethel Needs To Put Down the Crack Pipe

Posted on July 19, 2011 by Joey C


Posted on June 25, 2009 by Joey C

4 thoughts on “Just when I get out of the lobster roll rating game, one so horrendous comes along that it pulls me back in.

  1. Joey,

    Those hours are very long downloading all the bait starting at 2am and according to your ending time still there at almost18:00hrs that be 16 hours at that point. Don’t know how you do it? I have in both civilian and Military days has it hazards all the way around and affects health also bit time. I know suffering from some affects this year as a result of lack of sleep and your post on wellness other blog so true all the way around!

    Dave :-O


  2. Love the Oct 18 review-nails it! Pears? Squid Ink? Give me a break. I’m a foodie, bt in the best sense of the word. Keep it pure.
    Lenore Balliro


  3. As Paul Henreid said to Humphrey Bogart at the end of Casablanca, “Welcome back to the fight”.

    That lobster roll looks like complete shit, crap on a bun.


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