Alert: John McElhenny Doctors Warn That Skinny Jeans Can Cause Nerve Damage

Johnny Johnny Johnny.  How long have I been telling you that wearing these skinny jeans just ain’t right.  I didn’t need no stinkin doctor to tell me. 

Isn’t it obvious that when your junk is all mashed up inside your body cavity that it just isn’t normal?

Please Johnny we don’t want to see you do any more irreparable damage to yourself than you already have.

I’m sure second Glance or The Dress Code can take that closet full of skinny jeans of yours off your hands.

Before it’s too late Johnny.  You mean too much to the our community with all of the civic minded good that you do. Please.  If not for your boy Joey C, if not for your community, then do it for Luke and Ruby so when pictures of you surface when they are in college they won’t have to deny you as their father or just say it was some terrible photoshop joke that made it look that way.

Fashion victims: Skinny jeans can cause nerve damage, doctor warns

16 thoughts on “Alert: John McElhenny Doctors Warn That Skinny Jeans Can Cause Nerve Damage

  1. No chance, Joe. You think I’d be getting that “tingling thigh syndrome” in baggy Carhartt’s? (I have no idea what that is but it sounds tingly.) Not gonna happen!


  2. To the super stylin’ John McElhenney and dashing-good looking Joey–there are skinny jeans and then there are skinnnnnnnnnnny jeans. John always looks great in his slimmer jeans as does Joey in his looser attire. It would be so dull if everyone dressed the same!!


    1. Thanks, Kim. But I’m not even sure what Joey wears, loose or skinny, because I can never get past all that nose hair. It’s like a car wreck up — you can’t peel your eyes away.


      1. It’s true I confess.

        God cruel trick. Taking the hair that is supposed to grow on top of my head and make it grow like Jack and the beanstalk out my nose.

        The maintenance is a never ending battle.

        What I would do for a nice thick luxurious head of hair like John McElhenny’s


  3. The Rolling Stones — Sticky Fingers
    Released on Virgin in 1971. Cover art by Andy Warhol

    You could argue that it is impossible to write a feature on album art without seeing the famous banana from The Velvet Underground and Nico. Sadly, there was only room for one Warhol cover here and, seriously, you gotta go with the one with the real zipper attached. Also, Sticky Fingers was the first Stones album to feature their now famous Lips logo, designed by John Pasche.

    Apparently Warhol had the idea to include a zipper on an album cover well before Sitcky Fingers was even recorded, but when he mentioned it to Mick Jagger, the singer was excited by the idea. While many believe it is Jagger’s torso on the cover, this is not the case (it is actually a model/actor named Joe Dallesandro). A fascinating, dangerous and sexy concept from the band that epitomised all three at the time.

    © 2011 ABC


  4. Nerve damage? Because those stupid jeans get ON MY NERVES, resulting in much damage to said nerves. Are they called skinny jeans when fat people crank themselves into them? Or are they just small pants on people with friends that lie to them?..”Oh hell yeah you look good in those!” STOP THE LIES!


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