I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
One of my best friends in the entire world has a penis.
I could stop this post there and assume you know what I’m getting at…but, for fear you’ll misinterpret my meaning, I’ll go on.
One of my very best friends is a boy.
That may not seem blog worthy to you, but as of late I’ve been wondering how many others out there have a best friend of the opposite sex.
This friend and I have been close for almost 20 years and he means the world to me. I’m not going to lie, in the very beginning we toyed with the idea of being more than friends, but never much did.
One night, a few years into our friendship, we were out together on Christmas Eve and he introduced me to the man who is now my husband of 13 years and the father to our two sons.
My friend is still an amazing friend and I treasure his presence in my life in ways that are kind of hard to explain. I know he’d do anything for me and he’s brutally honest in ways that are totally refreshing. He’s one of the most generous people people I’ve ever met…and the laughing that comes when we’re together is priceless to me. Really, truly, priceless.
He goes away for long periods of time for work and we go months (or even longer) without seeing each other, but when he comes home I’m beyond thrilled to see him. Through the years he’s had a fair share of long term relationships….and I’ve met them all. Some embraced me as his good friend, sometimes realizing that befriending me was as a hall pass of sorts….some didn’t quite understand and never much liked me. Bygones.
My husband is supportive (well, maybe tolerant is a better adjective) because I think he really understands that this friendship is something that I need and cherish…even if I can’t so eloquently explain why. But, I am well aware, it is a luxury that he is tolerant as most others raise an eyebrow and find it more than a bit strange.
Sometimes I understand why others find it strange….sometimes I don’t. To be blunt, the fact that he has a penis doesn’t mean I’m going to see it any more than the fact that my girlfriends having boobies and a vagina means that I’m going to be seeing those. I have plenty of girlfriends whose private parts I’ve certainly never seen. Right?
So, I ask you, can men and women just be friends? When Harry Met Sally tells us “no”, but I think “yes”.
Comment please if you do indeed (or ever have had) a good friend of the opposite sex and take the poll to add your opinion.
Good Morning Gloucester 
I’ve kept in contact with my high school sweetie for over 40 years. Neither one of us thinks that the whole intimate thing would have ever worked out.
But, we remain close long distance friends. (she lives in Denmark) I even stayed at her house while visiting Denmark… with my wife’s blessing. They’re good friends too now.
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I have a friend, who is a boy, from my first year of high school in 1967, a long time. He is one of my best friends and will always be.
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I have 3 very close male friends, 2 from childhood (60 years) and another for 15 years. My husband knows them all even though he is newer (married almost 6 years) and we have seen them socially and I have seen them occasionally without him. They truly are good friends and we are all comfortable in that knowledge. It seems weird that all your friends would be from 50% of the population.
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My *bff* is a guy. We’ve known each other since college so about or over 20 years now. There might’ve bean a crush in one direction initially, not reciprocated, but instantly remedied, then he dated a gf of mine who liked dating boys who liked me; that lasted a few or so years (on a Paris Metro a couple years later she got the ultimatum from me I’d chose his friendship if she kept carrying on; that remedied that one toute de suite). The friendship w Q built up so inchworm slowly I didn’t even realize we were friends, until I realized we were really close friends, then realized how important our friendship and he is. When Q married DS, leading up to it folks said I should stop the wedding. We are just friends, I always replied. Folks really didn’t get it. His wife did, and that matters a lot! And his beautiful amazing daughter does, and that matters even more — she and I are buds since our first nap on the sofa when she was a few weeks young. Last year I moved up to Cape Ann from NYC so there’s not all the live music going (just Q & me), regular and for a spell nearly nightly dinners at their place or mine or one of our ‘hoods (the whole fam), and so many nights out at bars drinking beers grumbling about this and that (just Q & me). But forever until one of us croaks first, and even then, he’s one of the most important people to me, like a brother even better maybe, and for a decade now, I’ve enjoyed the entire family package of friendship. Men and women can be friends. It might not be *normal* but it happens, and it’s pretty awesome.
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Like good fences making good neighbors, I think good boundaries make good friendships. No reason why men and women can’t be best friends. Other than, er, boundary issues and secret agendas.
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Very good post – Never an issue when you are secure within with Honesty-Trust-Truth (HTT). It’s vital to have these friends some are from childhood…It’s like a good book don’t judge it by it’s covers but content! I think both males and females have had that heartbreak times when the other party did not have (HTT) then like this the song changes.. My biggest heartbreaks were in high school years but then we are building foundations…Like the circle of life! Dave:-) Kim:-)
Little Anthony & The Imperials ~ ” Outside Lookin’
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20pxwc_little-anthony-the-imperials-outside-lookin-in-w-lyrics-1964_music
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Yes you can!!! Don’t sweat the small stuff… If you are comfortable, that is all that matters!!!
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In my younger years (20s) I had a very good male friend. Nothing more than friendship ever happened though it was thought of and discussed but we were afraid of losing the friendship we had if it didn’t work out. He ended up moving to Colorado but we kept in touch and when he came home for holidays we always saw each other. He met a woman in Colorado. I remember talking on the phone for hours with him talking about how much he liked her and asking me for advice on dinner, how to dress… etc. He came home for holiday and brought her with. I made a nice dinner and we had drinks. She was lovely! The next day I was told she didn’t like me and she did not want he and I to remain friends. I never heard from my him again. How painful it was! I also have a different male friend I’ve known for 20 years. We’ve been through marriages, divorced, and kids together. We’ve both told significant others in the beginning that we are friends and will remain so, so they must be ok with it. It’s worked for us! So YES, women and men can be friends… as long as their significant other is not the jealous insecure type.
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