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View all posts by Joey Ciaramitaro
28 thoughts on “Is it misogynistic to say a woman is sexy?”
Hold on. I have to look up what misogynistic means… I’ll be right back
OK, then please explain to me why it’s wrong if a woman dresses provocatively and a man tells her she looks sexy because in our conversation this evening when you said if a girl walks down the street wearing something sexy a man should not look at her. But why should he not look at her if it’s not wrong to tell her she looks sexy?
I said even if a woman is acting “inappropriately” ie: walking down the street with her cooch hanging out or sloppy drunk it does not give a man the right to put his hands on her and that if a man is respectful of women that even in that circumstance he would not look at her and would treat her more as someone in distress than sexual prey. The conversation was about teaching and raising young men to be respectful of women even in the face of those situations – and that we put too much emphasis on what a girl is wearing or how she is acting and not enough on teaching men to control themselves. And maybe I should expand on my “no” – if a boss tells an employee they are sexy that is not ok (and that goes fir men and women) or if an old guy is standing on the corner telling young girls they are sexy then that’s creepy too.
It is common in rape trials to put the victim on trial and to bring up what she was wearing, what she was drinking etc – it is entrenched in our society that somehow women are “asking for it” and that needs to change. Obviously what we are doing isn’t working, we’ve told generations of young women to be careful and not walk alone at night, don’t get drunk at a party, don’t leave your drink where someone can put something in it, don’t wear that skirt it’s too short and still that has not prevented sexual assault, so logically if something isn’t working you try a different tactic and maybe the tactic we should try is to teach young men not to sexually assault women. There has been an increase in rape reports on college campuses, when you look at a college for a daughter you look at sexual assault statistics – it’s part of college shopping for girls and that is sad and wrong. I know it isn’t part of you and who you are so it doesn’t make sense to you because you were raised to respect women but if college rape is up then there are alot of young men out there who weren’t raised like you were. EJ’s parameters are very good guide for any who may be confused about when to call a woman sexy. The original question was is it misogynistic and I still say “No” to that – it doesn’t mean that a man hates or is distrustful of women if he says a woman is sexy, if it’s not someone who he should be saying it to things may get awkward for him but it doesn’t necessarily make him a misogynist.
My uneducated guess is that there are more rapes reported on campuses because rightfully people are reporting them more when they happen rather than not reporting them.
mi·sog·y·nis·tic
adj \mə-ˌsäj-ə-ˈnis-tik\
Definition of MISOGYNISTIC
: having or showing a hatred and distrust of women
Learn More About
Dictionary: Definition of “misogynistic”
Seen & Heard
What made you want to look up misogynistic? Please tell us where you read or heard it (including the quote, if possible).
I would say it depends on the man and the circumstance under which he is saying it. If it is your wife or girlfriend and you tell her she is sexy, then most likely not, but it could be if the man views women as sexual objects and not as an equal partner. If she is an unknown female walking by and you say it, then yes. Even if the man does not view women as sexual objects, he is potentially making the woman uncomfortable. If a man has to say something, better he say “don’t you look beautiful, pretty, radiant, striking, lovely, etc. today.” If a man would feel comfortable saying it to his daughter, then he could probably say it to a woman without her being made to feel uncomfortable. A big sincere smile is seldom misconstrued.
what is ‘dressing provocatively’? i have to agree that if you would say it to your daughter, it’s ok. if it’s a ‘wolf whistle’ thing, no. that makes women uncomfortable. i’ve had men stare at me and comment when i’m wearing a baggy t-shirt and overalls. when you ‘dress provocatively’ and feel threatened by how you are looked at or talked to, let me know.
Interesting that this come up because my boyfriend just read me an article about a study that came to the conclusion that husbands/boyfriends shouldn’t stare at their partner’s body because it’s objectifying them. Because apparently physical attraction is bad. And we are too dainty to handle someone we live with admiring our body. The results of the study in our household have only led me to prance past him randomly demanding to be objectified.
By all means, if you see someone who is attractive, look, but it’s mannerly to do so discreetly. Don’t stare at them like you’re imagining their skin as a vest. It’s fine to smile and say “hello”, but any barnyard animal noises…..no….it’s creepy and immature. Gauge the situation. If the person is striding along with their head down, glaring and clutching pepper spray, they don’t care to hear that you think they have nice legs. If they make eye contact, smile and speak to you, they may be more open to a compliment.
Many women would consider being called sexy a compliment. Some women spend lots of time and money exactly for that purpose, to be considered sexy, and they would be thrilled to hear that their efforts have resulted in someone else noticing it!
But more often than not, being called sexy is an unwelcome intrusion into a woman’s life. This doesn’t mean that being sexy is bad or undesirable, it just means that sexuality is personal. Many women reserve this part of themselves for the partners who are important to them. To be called sexy by someone you don’t know, as you walk down the street, is offensive and inappropriate.
I too agree with EJ..Do you feel comfortable saying it to your daughter?… But more so, would you feel comfortable if another man said it to your daughter?
I agree with EJ as well. Calling a woman sexy can be a total compliment…or it could be inappropriate. It depends upon the circumstances, whom you are referring to, and the delivery!
For the record I asked the question and the response I got was an unequivocal no during our conversation last night. Now there are qualifiers from the same who said unequivocally no.
I don’t know a single sane man that thinks it’s OK to rape.
I don’t associate a girl who dresses provocatively and gets complimented in a tasteful manner with rape.
Catcalling obviously inappropriate. Sexual remarks in the workplace obviously inappropriate.
But complimenting a woman who takes pride in her appearance or noticing a woman who takes pride in her appearance is not the next step to rape in my book as some seem to believe.
Good Morning Gloucester 
Hold on. I have to look up what misogynistic means… I’ll be right back
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No
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OK, then please explain to me why it’s wrong if a woman dresses provocatively and a man tells her she looks sexy because in our conversation this evening when you said if a girl walks down the street wearing something sexy a man should not look at her. But why should he not look at her if it’s not wrong to tell her she looks sexy?
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I said even if a woman is acting “inappropriately” ie: walking down the street with her cooch hanging out or sloppy drunk it does not give a man the right to put his hands on her and that if a man is respectful of women that even in that circumstance he would not look at her and would treat her more as someone in distress than sexual prey. The conversation was about teaching and raising young men to be respectful of women even in the face of those situations – and that we put too much emphasis on what a girl is wearing or how she is acting and not enough on teaching men to control themselves. And maybe I should expand on my “no” – if a boss tells an employee they are sexy that is not ok (and that goes fir men and women) or if an old guy is standing on the corner telling young girls they are sexy then that’s creepy too.
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I don’t know any rational man that thinks it would be appropriate to touch or rape a girl just because she was scantily clad.
Not one.
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It is common in rape trials to put the victim on trial and to bring up what she was wearing, what she was drinking etc – it is entrenched in our society that somehow women are “asking for it” and that needs to change. Obviously what we are doing isn’t working, we’ve told generations of young women to be careful and not walk alone at night, don’t get drunk at a party, don’t leave your drink where someone can put something in it, don’t wear that skirt it’s too short and still that has not prevented sexual assault, so logically if something isn’t working you try a different tactic and maybe the tactic we should try is to teach young men not to sexually assault women. There has been an increase in rape reports on college campuses, when you look at a college for a daughter you look at sexual assault statistics – it’s part of college shopping for girls and that is sad and wrong. I know it isn’t part of you and who you are so it doesn’t make sense to you because you were raised to respect women but if college rape is up then there are alot of young men out there who weren’t raised like you were. EJ’s parameters are very good guide for any who may be confused about when to call a woman sexy. The original question was is it misogynistic and I still say “No” to that – it doesn’t mean that a man hates or is distrustful of women if he says a woman is sexy, if it’s not someone who he should be saying it to things may get awkward for him but it doesn’t necessarily make him a misogynist.
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My uneducated guess is that there are more rapes reported on campuses because rightfully people are reporting them more when they happen rather than not reporting them.
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No!
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NO
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mi·sog·y·nis·tic
adj \mə-ˌsäj-ə-ˈnis-tik\
Definition of MISOGYNISTIC
: having or showing a hatred and distrust of women
Learn More About
Dictionary: Definition of “misogynistic”
Seen & Heard
What made you want to look up misogynistic? Please tell us where you read or heard it (including the quote, if possible).
LikeLike
I would say it depends on the man and the circumstance under which he is saying it. If it is your wife or girlfriend and you tell her she is sexy, then most likely not, but it could be if the man views women as sexual objects and not as an equal partner. If she is an unknown female walking by and you say it, then yes. Even if the man does not view women as sexual objects, he is potentially making the woman uncomfortable. If a man has to say something, better he say “don’t you look beautiful, pretty, radiant, striking, lovely, etc. today.” If a man would feel comfortable saying it to his daughter, then he could probably say it to a woman without her being made to feel uncomfortable. A big sincere smile is seldom misconstrued.
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It’s against nature to say “yes” . So it’s “No”.
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I agree withe EJ on every point ~
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what is ‘dressing provocatively’? i have to agree that if you would say it to your daughter, it’s ok. if it’s a ‘wolf whistle’ thing, no. that makes women uncomfortable. i’ve had men stare at me and comment when i’m wearing a baggy t-shirt and overalls. when you ‘dress provocatively’ and feel threatened by how you are looked at or talked to, let me know.
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Like with all forward things, move with caution in advancing.
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Only if it is a male saying it.
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No, although not in the best of taste.
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NO!!! Stop being so politically correct people. its sad you even ask this question. BTW… I find moolongz sexy. oops
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Interesting that this come up because my boyfriend just read me an article about a study that came to the conclusion that husbands/boyfriends shouldn’t stare at their partner’s body because it’s objectifying them. Because apparently physical attraction is bad. And we are too dainty to handle someone we live with admiring our body. The results of the study in our household have only led me to prance past him randomly demanding to be objectified.
By all means, if you see someone who is attractive, look, but it’s mannerly to do so discreetly. Don’t stare at them like you’re imagining their skin as a vest. It’s fine to smile and say “hello”, but any barnyard animal noises…..no….it’s creepy and immature. Gauge the situation. If the person is striding along with their head down, glaring and clutching pepper spray, they don’t care to hear that you think they have nice legs. If they make eye contact, smile and speak to you, they may be more open to a compliment.
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Big word ! I agree with EJ
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Is it misogynistic to say a woman is sexy?
It all depends.
Many women would consider being called sexy a compliment. Some women spend lots of time and money exactly for that purpose, to be considered sexy, and they would be thrilled to hear that their efforts have resulted in someone else noticing it!
But more often than not, being called sexy is an unwelcome intrusion into a woman’s life. This doesn’t mean that being sexy is bad or undesirable, it just means that sexuality is personal. Many women reserve this part of themselves for the partners who are important to them. To be called sexy by someone you don’t know, as you walk down the street, is offensive and inappropriate.
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I too agree with EJ..Do you feel comfortable saying it to your daughter?… But more so, would you feel comfortable if another man said it to your daughter?
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I like EJ’s response.
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I agree with EJ as well. Calling a woman sexy can be a total compliment…or it could be inappropriate. It depends upon the circumstances, whom you are referring to, and the delivery!
LikeLike
For the record I asked the question and the response I got was an unequivocal no during our conversation last night. Now there are qualifiers from the same who said unequivocally no.
I don’t know a single sane man that thinks it’s OK to rape.
I don’t associate a girl who dresses provocatively and gets complimented in a tasteful manner with rape.
Catcalling obviously inappropriate. Sexual remarks in the workplace obviously inappropriate.
But complimenting a woman who takes pride in her appearance or noticing a woman who takes pride in her appearance is not the next step to rape in my book as some seem to believe.
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No!
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NO! YES! NEVER! SOMETIMES! MAYBE! Whatever the Majority says.
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let’s face it. there are times when that comment is downright threatening sounding, women, i know youw know what I am talking about
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