It’s never going to sink in is it? ARGHHHHHH!!!!!

I should really just submit and resign myself that there are people that no matter what you do or say or how many times it’s repeated, they will refuse to use a search engine.

Need to get me one of those LMGTFY T Shirts, baseball caps and whatever other products they come up with.  If they have a car wrap I’ll buy one of those too.

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Hi Joey

Did I miss the posting of One Billion Rising on GMG?  Coming up on FRIDAY FEB 14. Peeps looking on GMG but haven’t seen it yet!

Thnx so much!
Name Removed , LMHC

Response:

No it was posted three times.  a search would provide the links

there is a search box and there is also google.

might i suggest the search terms one billion rising and goodmorninggloucester.

Here are the results 

There are no less than 5 results.

Now the thing that really tends to get me going more than having to point out that search engines exists is that when you suggest that search engines exist to most people, they seem genuinely indignant and feel like you are singling them out for being a dummy.

I should note that this is not the case with the person who sent me this email who I am sure is a very lovely person.

This note to those who refuse to use search engines –

GOOGLE- PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD- TAKE ONE MINUTE OF YOUR LIFE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO POINT YOUR BROWSER IN THE DIRECTION OF GOOGLE AND TYPE IN YOUR SEARCH QUERY.

WEBMASTERS AROUND THE GLOBE WILL REJOICE- THE WORLD WILL BE A BETTER PLACE!

I MAY PLAN MY OWN ONE BILLION RISING EVENT TO RAISE AWARENESS OF PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO USE SEARCH ENGINES.

*note: If this email was a joke in response to last week’s post linked below then I hope you burn in hell.

How much could I charge for a seminar to teach people how to look for things on the internet using a search engine?

Posted on February 3, 2014 by Joey C

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http://lmgtfy.com/

Anyone feel like photoshopping my head onto this?

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Search Questions I Get

Joey,

Could you please tell me where I can find the promo you ran about my new book.  I’ve been looking through today’s GMG and I can’t locate it.
Thanks,
Barry Stacks

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Go Ahead Click The Google Search Button.  Please.  I know you have it in you.  I just know it can’t be that difficult to grasp that there is thing on the interwebs called Google that actually allows you to find things that may be posted about a certain subject you may be interested in.

If you have a thing against the word “Google” and it sends shivers up your spine perhaps you could try Bing.

Googlephobia- the fear of using a friggin search engine to find something on the internet.

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I swear to Christ I get 3-5 of these questions a day.  Every day.  It’s maddening.

On top of being able to search anything on the internet there’s also a Good Morning Gloucester Search Engine.  I swear it’s there.  I promise

actual screen Shot of Good Morning Gloucester Home Page below

You can go to the homepage here- www.goodmorninggloucester.com  Bookmark it for easy reference.  The search engine is in the top right corner.

You can use it to search.  I promise you won’t get herpes or anything.  It’s been tested.

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Is It Astounding In 2013 That Someone Would Ask This Question Rather Than Google “Hard Merchandise T-Shirt”?

I got this email last night (name removed as to not embarrass the nice person)-

where can i find t-shirts for the hard merchandise?  cant find it on this place, or im looking in the wrong place.  help me out ok?  thanx

 

In no way shape or form am I trying to be a prick here.  It’s just interesting to me and I thought I’d share the fact that there are HUGE numbers of the population that haven’t figured out how to do an online search using a search engine.

I mean it had to take more energy for this kind person to type out the email asking where they can find Hard Merchandise T-Shirts than the energy it would have taken to type “Hard Merchandise T-shirt” into a search engine.

So you know they truly don’t understand how.  They’re not being lazy, they just don’t understand that they could Google it.

Here’s a Public Service Announcement for those folks that haven’t figured out how to search for stuff online (an everyday life tool I think you should know about)-

There are other Search engines such as www.bing.com and www.lmgtfy.com you can use to perform searches for things you would like information about or products to buy.

I understand that many of you already understand this but if you saw how many questions a day I get with simple questions that can be answered with far fewer keystrokes you would understand that there are huge chunks of the population for which this tutorial will help immensely.

If we can help just one person understand how to perform an internet search that previously didn’t know how I’ll consider this post a smashing success.

thank you for your time and understanding

Joey C

GloucesterCast Taped 4/28/13 With Host Joey Ciaramitaro and Guest Alicia DeWolfe

GloucesterCast 4/29/13 With Host Joey Ciaramitaro and Guest Alicia DeWolfe

Click to listen- With Host Joey C and Guest Alicia DeWolfe

Topics Include:

2:10 St Ann’s School Closing

5:38 O’Maley School Theater

9:42 Good Harbor Beach Footbridge Poll

13:00 Mayor Kirk

18:30 Coffee Roll Or Cannoli

20.25 Styrofoam Cups vs Paper Cups

26:06 Cotton Is For Suckers

27:20 Cross Fit Cape Ann

29:15 Muffy White

32:12 Manscaping

35:15 Joey’s Use Of Female Hygiene Products

35:53 Manly Scented Sunscreen

40:27 Laurie Lufkin Click Marketing

42:10 Alicia On Social Media

46:00 Brianmoc

47:30 The Idea Behind GMG

56:30 19 Again

58:00 LMGTFY

If you only listen to one of our podcasts let this be the one.  I had so much crazy fun with Alicia.

Here are some memorable quotes from our discussion-

“Should I brace myself? Should I put my seatbelt on?”

“Powder fresh in my nether regions”

“Cotton Is For Suckers”

“Picture late 70’s early 80’s porn”

“Need a machete down there to get to the good stuff”