Good Morning Gloucester

So, this conversation came up the other night…  “When is using the term Hon (or Honey) appropriate?”  Whether it should be spelled “hun” or “hon” is a conversation for another day.

I have a friend who, I’ve noticed, will often say, “Thanks, Hon” as he pays his tab at a restaurant or bar.  He means nothing by it….it is simply a habit he has picked up.  He is never trying to be condescending nor is he trying to flirt.  Nonetheless, when I hear him say it,  I sometimes wonder how well it is actually being received by the server/bartender.  So, to conduct a bit of research for the sake of the blog, I started to ask.

The feelings were mixed.  The three bartenders questioned all happened to be female.  The first bartender agreed that it feels a bit unsettling and often seems rude. The second said that it didn’t really bother her when she is working, but that her own fiancé sometimes uses it when they are out, and when she hears it coming from him, it makes her skin crawl a bit too.   The third bartender was indifferent.   All agreed that it is very situational….and sometimes it wouldn’t phase them at all, but sometimes (under different circumstances) would really annoy them.  So, what exactly are those situations?

Well, for example, these questions were posed:  The tone of voice used.  The age or the customer and/or the age of the server.  The gender of both parties involved.  Is the person a “regular”?  Was the person using the term “Hon” attractive (one very honest bartender brought that up)?  Was the customer alone?  Dining with a significant other?  Out with friends?  Was there drinking involved? And even geographic locations.

I went to college in Virginia and everyone was “hon”, “sweetie”, or “babe” down there.

There are so many possibilities to consider.  Sometimes it feels ok, sometimes it doesn’t.   I’m 44 years old.  There is a young, female employee at a particular Dunkin’ Donuts who will always hand me my coffee through the drive thru window with a, “Here you go, Hon” or a “Have a great day, Hon.”   While it doesn’t bother me, per say.  I find it interesting.  I find it interesting that someone so much younger than me would call me “Hon”.  More typically, while I don’t enjoy it, in that situation one might think she would call me “Ma’am.”  I’m not in love with either.  But, I’m not going to lose sleep over it either.

Often times I’ve noticed that when a server is older they will deliver a meal with a, “Here you go, Hon” and I find it totally endearing.  Very grandmotherly.  That never strikes me as odd…..but, why?, I wonder.  Years ago, my husband and I went to a certain place maybe once a month or so.  There was a female bartender there (in the same age range as us)  who ALWAYS called my husband, and most other male customers, “Hon” but never the female customers.  I found that a bit annoying.

I wanted to conduct a poll on the matter, but I think that there are too many factors to be considered, so I hesitate to do so.  Rather, do me a favor, and leave a comment in regards to when it is OK…..and when it is definitely NOT ok.  I’d be interested to know your opinion.

Grover and his wife Cindy ran the Cupboard and had countless friends and if you grew up in Gloucester you were touched by the “Cupboard Experience” that they created and maintained all these years.  

This forwarded by John Nelson –
Hi Joey:
I wanted to pass along the attached obit for Grover Hudson Carter. This wonderful man ran The Cupboard on Tolman Ave for years and passed away in Georgia this past weekend. I grew up across the street from you Grandmother and can’t count the number of cones, burgers and goodies Grover supplied. For a few years in the late 60’s/ early 70’s, Grover and Cindy held an end-of-year, Tolman Ave ‘block party’ as they closed up The Cupboard for the season; a great pick-me-up for a young lad bummed because summer was over and school had started up. He helped make my childhood in Stage Fort Park memorable and magical.

I will miss him.

https://shar.es/14zBck

John Nelson
Gloucester ex-pat

Here’s a link about the Cupboard I wrote a while back – the Cupboard – A Gloucester Classic

If you go to the blog and type in the search term Cupboard there are many posts

“Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it “the first law of personal growth.”

Peter McWilliams (1949 -2000)

He went on to say: “Acceptance is not a state of passivity or inaction. I am not saying you can’t change the world, right wrongs, or replace evil with good. Acceptance is, in fact, the first step to successful action. If you don’t fully accept a situation precisely the way it is, you will have difficulty changing it. Moreover, if you don’t fully accept the situation, you will never really know if the situation should be changed.”

Williams was a native of Detroit who attended Eastern Michigan University and Maharishi International University. His 1975 book on transcendental meditation, The TM Book, was a best seller. He went on to write nearly 40 more books in the self-help genre and worked extensively with Werner Erhard in the awareness training movement. He was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 1996 and was a proponent of the legalization of marijuana. His last books on the “absurdity of consensual crimes” became popular with the Libertarian community.

Greg Bover

Photos by Deborah Schradieck 

Photos by Sid Falthzik

Submitted by Dave Moore, from Buddhist calendar

Photos by Nicole Lariviere

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Thanks to everyone who submitted photos . Keep on shootin’.

Marty

Through the ice crystals on my window this morning.  Unfortunately, the camera just couldn’t capture the brilliant beauty of it, but it gives an idea.

E.J. Lefavour

www.hobbithousestudio.com

Folly Cove Designers and Feminist Social Change
An illustrated lecture by Jennifer Scanlon

The Cape Ann Museum is pleased to present the William R. Kenan Jr. Professor of the Humanities in Gender and Women’s Studies and Associate Dean for Faculty at Bowdoin College, Jennifer Scanlon to give an illustrated lecture on Saturday, March 12 at 2:00 p.m. on everyone’s favorite topic: the Folly Cove Designers. However, Scanlon will be looking at this group of artists from a different angle. Scanlon’s article, “’The Space Between,’: Rediscovering the Folly Cove Designers,” published in the Massachusetts Review in June of 2015 will be the catalyst for this lecture on the role of the Folly Cove Designers (active 1938-1969) as a forerunner of the women’s groups and professional organizations that fueled feminist social change in the following decades.

Led and trained by illustrator Virginia Lee Burton, the Folly Cove Designers were a group of Massachusetts designer-craftsmen whose shared interests in craftsmanship, pattern, and New England material culture united them across class and ethnic backgrounds. Their artistic and commercial success printing their designs onto textiles energized and legitimized the group, both as a collective of primarily women and as an artist’s cooperative.

Christine Lundberg, producer of the award-winning film Virginia Lee Burton: A Sense of Place, will introduce Scanlon.

This program is $10 for CAM members / $15 for non-members (includes admission). Space is limited; reservations are required. For additional information/tickets, please call: (978) 283-0455 x10 or email info@capeannmuseum.org. Tickets can also be purchased online at Eventbrite.

Holy Mackerel

Megan Merlin submitted