“Hurry to the back of the ship,” said Tom sternly.
“What’s an angle over 90 degrees ?” asked Tom obtusely.
“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” said Tom blankly.
“I’ve injured my leg,” said Tom lamely.
“Use your own toothbrush !” Tom bristled.
“I mustn’t let the fire go out,” Tom bellowed.
“I work at a bank,” said Tom tellingly.
“Nice mirror,” Tom reflected.
“There’s someone at the front door,” Tom chimed in.
“Very well, you can borrow it again,” Tom relented.
“I’ve gone back to my wife,” was Tom’s rejoinder.
“Some you lose,” said Tom winsomely. “I just lost my flashlight” Said Tom in a delighted mannner.
“I just found out that magic is fake!” said Tom in a disenchanted way.
(Photo from Great Chesapeake Bay Schooner Race 2012 crew party on 31 ft Quintessence for 115 ft AJ Meerwald)
Al Bezanson
Good Morning Gloucester 
Some might not know these adverbaly laden puns are “Tom Swifties”
I read the 33 volume set that my father had.
One of my favorites: “‘I’ll take the prisoner downstairs’, said Tom condescendingly.”
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Oh, I remember them well. I also read all the books that my father had, back when I was a kid.
“The dentist says I have three cavities,” said Tom Crestfallenly.
Cheers!
Tim Holloran
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Thanks Al. I hadn’t thought of these in quite some time. Seems to me there was a late night DJ on ‘BCN who did Swifties all the time. Here’s one I made up:
“I will now make an incision into the left ventricle,” said Dr. Tom halfheartedly.
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Thanks Paul, Tim , Greg and silent Tomswifty fans. It’s been a bountiful year for new adverbs in op ed pages thanks to certain presidential aspirants. Each new day seems to grow more Hillaryly.
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