English is about to become less complicated

English is about to become less complicated

There’s a new complainer on the North Shore — well, a new channel for complaining, anyway, compliments of an old complainer.

It’s “English Is A Complicated Language,” a new daily blog (ComplicatedEnglish.com) recently launched by Ipswich resident Doug Brendel.

It’s funny, it’s free, and it’s fractious.

Brendel is perhaps best known as “The Outsidah,” author of occasional humorous commentary on life in small-town New England, at Outsidah.com. (His remarks are typically also carried at TheLocalNe.ws and in the Ipswich Chronicle.)

“Think of this as a new free service to the public,” Brendel says. “People communicate in English all the time, but they often accidentally say what they don’t mean.”

One example from the blog: “Hernandez was discovered hanged in his cell by corrections officers at the Center.”

Brendel solemnly shakes his head.

“Those corrections officers ought to be ashamed,” he groans.

Clearly the writer of this grim tidbit meant to say something different: Hernandez was discovered by the officers, not hanged by them.

But in the article Brendel cites, it’s the officers who get nailed.

“Why? Because English is a complicated language!” Brendel chuckles.

“This blog is good for a few laughs — but I think it will also help people write more clearly,” he adds.

The blog also addresses punctuation, grammar, syntax, and other communication issues — but always in fun, and always in plain English. (“What does syntax even mean?” Brendel moans.)

Brendel comes honestly by this kind of complaining. He has spent his entire professional life as a writer, editor, and “copy chief” — which is to say, an overseer of other writers’ writing.

“Every day of my life, I’m correcting stuff like ‘eating foie gras on a bed of lobster eggs,’” he says. “Who sleeps on a bed of lobster eggs? And let’s be honest: Even if you slept on a bed of lobster eggs, wouldn’t you be more comfortable going to the kitchen to eat your foie gras?”

Complaining comes naturally to Brendel. “I have, let’s call it, a prosecutorial personality,” he confesses. “But a few weeks ago, I decided to turn over a new leaf: As a gift to my wife, who has suffered me for more than 30 years, I vowed to stop complaining. Of course, all that negative energy had to go somewhere. And I had groused for years about people’s bad writing. So this new blog just sort of emerged. It’s been good therapy for me.”

And maybe for others. Response has been strong. ComplicatedEnglish.com already has hundreds of followers.

“Well, more than 200 followers,” Brendel offers, as a tweak. “‘Hundreds’ may be technically correct — and I don’t mean to complain — but let’s not say something that might be misunderstood.”