The Viau Family,
Donna, Bob, Greer, Dylan share:
SOME THOUGHTS TO SHARE
It was one month Thursday October 12, 2023 since our 25 year old son Greer Viau received the GIFT OF LIFE from an amazing altruistic living donor who made it possible for Greer to receive a kidney transplant. Right now the donor is anonymous but it is our dream to meet them soon.
Back in 2021at his annual physical when we learned Greer had Chronic Kidney Disease from lab results his diligent and thorough primary care doctor discovered, we were shocked. After referral to a nephrologist followed by a biopsy we were told it was something that could very possibly be controlled, perhaps even for life with medication and continual monitoring so life went on. That monitoring was indicating he was stable, almost as if it was in remission if you will. Greer was thriving, working, doing things he enjoyed. In the fall of 2022 he had very random intermittent bouts of nausea. In January of 2023 he faced a massive layoff at work at which time I encouraged “strongly” as mother’s do to get a physical. He did only to find out his labs indicated his kidney function had plummeted and he was approaching end stage renal disease. We were terrified. He didn’t feel anything to indicate it. Another biopsy and further labs were not good and the rapid decline was devastating with news of needing a transplant, an emergency five day hospital stay, meetings with transplant doctors & surgeons to having an emergency Hemo port in his chest, grueling dialysis, another port put in for home Peritoneal Dialysis 13 hours nightly seven days a week, more emergency visits, an ENTIRE upheaval of life for our son first and foremost but our entire family.
Education was paramount…what do we do, what can we do, how do we do things…..Greer was nothing short of astounding in dealing and living with this horrific new necessary lifestyle.
During that first visit at the Brigham in February and learning they didn’t want his brother for donor evaluation due to their genetic connection and the unknown about why this was even happening to Greer, Bob was out due to diabetes so of course it must be me, I am the mother, this is automatic. I literally said let’s operate, take my kidney now. The doctors looked at us with a disappointing smile saying it doesn’t work that way…we were quickly learning about the extensive process that must happen for evaluation for Living Donorship. We learned that as a family it was up to us to find a living donor for Greer. Everyone talks about “a list”. The list for a deceased kidney is est. 7-10+ years. To find a living donor, families must outreach and search. Not every hospital is, but fortunately The Brigham & Women transplant program is connected to the National Kidney Registry NKR. They assist with outreach in coaching, counseling, helping launch an individual website for patients called a microsite page, cards with a QR Code link to the patients page to learn about the patient, their story, their life, to answer questions about Donorship and to link applicants to the initial questionnaire to see if applicants can progress to be medically qualified to donate. Then there is the amazing coordinating support team Greer and our family had at the Brigham that connects with applicants, handles medical questions and guides our family and of course our outstanding donor mentor from the NKR, in our case Lynn Henderson Bolduc who connected, guided, comforted with those coming forward for Greer. Who would know better as Lynn not only donated her kidney but in later years donated a quarter of her liver to someone else. I once asked her why she came forward in her case for someone she didn’t even know and she said “because I could”. She just wanted to help. What a beautiful soul. Now her husband recently donated his kidney as well. They are such stunning examples of humanity, kindness, actually….there are no words.
Back in February when he was released from that harrowing week at the Brigham, Greer sat on our couch staring out and said in this sad almost hopeless voice “who is going to give me an organ out of their body to save my life”. Inside I gasped with terror but blurted out SOMEONE WILL. Two months into my own evaluation I was eliminated and cried for hours. Greer was comforting ME.
So our entire task in life now was to outreach for Greer. Honestly my immediate reaction is that everyone will of course come forward for evaluation, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. We’re talking saving someone’s life here, it’s Greer, he’s only 25, you love him, you know him, you’re related to him…..this is what has to be done. It doesn’t quite work that way. In life we need to learn and accept everyone can only do what they can do. I think perhaps we are all like that. Each one of us can only do what we can do during our life. That may not always make sense or be understood by us when events and circumstances come into our lives, especially life threatening ones.
During all of this we are never told by the NKR or the Brigham who comes forward for evaluation for Greer. We receive an email “dashboard” biweekly showing how many people viewed his microsite and how many completed the registration questionnaire to start evaluation. There were certainly those whom we knew personally whether a family member or friend who told us they were being evaluated, all of which gave us hope. There were also people we hadn’t seen in years yet always a part of our lives who connected to say they were being tested. Then admittedly there were people in our lives who we assumed or hoped would come forward who we rarely if ever heard from but may have clicked a heart or prayer hands on a Facebook post. Then people we’d never met who felt for Greer came forward. Through it all there has been incredible LOVE, OUTREACH and SUPPORT from so many….family, friends, friends of friends, community response, our workplaces. People online who heard Greer’s story who are going through their own searches and struggles with kidney disease who learned of our story and continue to reach out with concern and sharing love for us like our new friends Cole Pasqualucci, Andrea Crompton-Ruback, Michele Pearlstein Lingenfelter, Kathleen McHugh McAnulty, Jonathan Torres, Amanda Thomas, Paul S. Savuto all need our help.
Again, acceptance in the mantra, people can only do what they can do. Maybe someone just couldn’t physically or mentally handle the idea of Donorship, maybe they have their own personal circumstances that prevent coming forward for someone in need like Greer despite loving them, knowing them, being related to them.
To Greer’s miraculously, beautiful, loving donor…we will NEVER be able to fully express our gratitude. To the teams of Doctors and Nurses who gave and continue to give him exceptional care, thank you all.
We learned to accept and be eternally grateful for for EVERYONE who shared, outreached, supported, gifted, emailed, mailed cards, texted, commented on FB, put magnets on their cars, phoned us, the radio, the news, the newspapers, the local websites, stopped us in the store for a hug, cared, evaluated, held us up….Shared 💕 LOVE
Thank you
The Viau Family,
Donna, Bob, Greer, Dylan
Good Morning Gloucester 