dis·ha·bille/ˌdisəˈbēl/ Noun: The state of being only partly or scantily clothed
I was lying in bed, half asleep, when a word entered my mind. Dishabille. I could spell it, I could pronounce it, but I had no idea what it meant. Dishabille, dishabille, dishabille, I repeated over and over again. A nice departure from counting sheep and just as effective.
When I woke up the next morning I looked up the meaning of dishabille. And damned if it didn’t mean exactly what I’ve been thinking about lately. Maybe the word entered my brain, subconsciously, as I made my way in various public spheres, witnessing the annual Shedding of the Clothes that arrives with warmer weather. Seeing the abrupt nakedness of people who should never be publicly unclothed — which is nearly all of us, frankly — is a bit of a shock. It’s almost enough to make one hate summer. Now I’m not talking about the beach. Unfortunately swimming, or potential swimming, hovers over any beach trip no matter how unrelated it actually is to what you are doing at the beach, and gives near-nakedness a sort of legitimacy. I’m talking about everything else. Up to and including: trips to the hardware store, the grocery store, the post office, Wal-mart, and the mailbox. Another category that might seem to warrant or justify near-nakedness: recreational activities (no, not that kind of recreation). As in, an afternoon at a park or a zoo. Think lying on the grass means you can wear those shorts and that tank top? Then you’re wrong. It does not. Unless you can actually fit in those shorts and that tank top without spilling over the sides, through the arm holes and over the top. If you need to call in reinforcements to stay in your clothes, then don’t wear those clothes.
Why am I saying this? ( 1) Because somebody needs to. (2) For my own sake. I’m one of the approximately 95% of Americans who should not be wearing shorts. (3) For your sake. I’m one of the approximately 95% of Americans who should not be wearing shorts. (4) Because I love America. And we are embarrassing ourselves here.
Just in time for the 4th of July holiday, I think we need to re-think what it means to be truly patriotic. If you love your Country, cover yourself up. The rest of the world is laughing at us (not that we care). Maybe Toby Keith should write one of his grammy-winning songs about it, something like “God Bless the Land of the Free-of-Shorts”. Maybe then America would listen. I’m not asking us to do anything really hard, like lose weight. I’m a big believer in the Freedom Fries and the gymless existence, if that’s your thing. I’m just asking red-blooded Americans to avoid living in a state of dishabille. If it sounds like a disease, it’s for good reason, because no one wants to be the victim of dishabille, especially not the people who have to look at you for the three long months of summer.
P.S. And please don’t use the excuse that you’re “too hot”. This is New England. Our ancestors cooked over wood fires in layers of clothes. All you have to do is get fast food for your meals — the least you can do is put on a pair of linen pants to do so. Do right by your Yankee roots.
Good Morning Gloucester 
could not have said it better myself
rosemary
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love your article and the photo!
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what’s really sad is that this even needs to be spelled out.
is it perception or the lack of an accurate perception of one’s self that allows people to walk over the threshold of their homes to the outside world like this?
do you think people realize but do not care
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I hope I’ve misread the post: Red blooded American criteria? Here in Yankee New England, and Gloucester? If only ‘not able to fit into one’s clothing’ was the worst of our problems. Sticks and stones, people who live in glass houses, be careful what you say because after they’re finished coming after me who’s going to stick up for you? . . . I think you get the idea where I’m going with this.
Maybe it’s time for a coffeebreak? Or perhaps find another hobby. Robotics?
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I don’t think it’s the worst of our problems, but it ranks pretty high.
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ahhh . . the illusive search for the perfect bod,
northward from the neck
and southward, ankles down.
what’s wrong with all my calories? why oh why
can’t they park themselves between my toes,
behind my lobes and rid me of this malady?
instead, they settle for those most imperfect
runways meant for jumbo jets, and landing pads
i’d just as soon forget.
right there, for all the world to see, my thighs,
my hips, and snow-white belly. popeye had it right, without remorse,
i yam wut i yam with all my cellulite.
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I don’t think it’s so much about people being fat.
It’s about dressing appropriately.
For example. I have a gut, so I won’t be wearing any revealing baby- t shirts in which my muffintop hangs out.
I’m sure you’re relieved knowing you won’t have to look at my muffintop, no?
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Hate to say it, but Joey is right. It’s not about being fat, it’s about letting it all hang out. Although I must say I enjoyed the poetic nature of your response, MikeC. It’s a real feat to make such music out of something as unattractive as cellulite. And after reading your Ode to Fat, I’m sure I’ll look at my own fat rolls in an entirely different light. But, everyone will be happy to know, I’ll look at them in the privacy of my own home, without subjecting total strangers to the sight. You’re welcome in advance.
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preach it sister!
considering it’s much too hard to find shorts that extend below butt-cheek level anyway, i vote strongly for pedal pushers or capris.
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Amen to that! Let’s hear it for capris!
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clam diggers too!
did you hear the beatles are getting back together?
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I love the word “dishabille” and your point is well-taken. I’ve noticed a sad tendency (that seems to be growing) of taking pride in being as in-your-face, crude and rude as a person can possibly be. I don’t know why some people find this acceptable but they do. I see it all the time in public — people falling out of their clothes, people talking loud on cell phones broadcasting every detail of their lives and engaging in vulgar language, people bragging about how drunk they were or how wasted or how rude. It is everywhere and it is sad.
Have some dignity, folks. Please.
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Well said Kathleen.
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laugh out loud fabulous! wholeheartedly agree!!!!!!!
linen crops are the only way to go!
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Kathleen: we should feel lucky it’s the people doing all this ‘negative’ stuff and not the animals. we’ve already screwed them enough.
Let’s not be suckers and fall for the ‘beautiful people’ acts we see on TV and in the movies. My favorite pasttime is laughing at myself. The mirror doesn’t lie, we can’t stop time; some of us call it middle age, second childhood or life’s wakeup call. Whichever, none of us have patience with others if we don’t have it with ourselves. No, that line isn’t from Abbey Road. Does anyone remember the last line in the last song the Beatles recorded?
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Sorry Mike your Wrong! I stop my clock everytime I undress in front of it!
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Paul: I’m not sure what you’re telling me I’m wrong about, but if it’s a choice between the bod and the clock my solution would be simple: turn the clock around. But on a less serious note: why would anyone want to undress in front of a clock in the first place? Of course. you should be aware I’m coming out of the 60’s, I’m actually in my 60’s, so you may be talking about a clock whose tech savvy I know nothing about. My acoustic guitar doesn’t even have an electric pickup- in fact, pickup has an entirely different meaning to me. I’m not sure that you’re a real person or how we’re able to communicate “online”, and now as I look at your photo to my left I see you’ve published your image from the neck up! Hmmm. And white goat-T to boot. And you’re smiling. Are you a beatnik? And what’s with the top of your head cut off? You appear to be a very interesting specimen. But, alas, I will stand corrected. I am wrong. I simply wish to know what I am wrong about. Gloucester does have its characters.
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Oh Roving Home. You made me feel like a princess after seeing that. I have a thyroid problem & am on meds but having problems loosing weight. Believe me I cover up. I thought I was bad but after seeing that, you made me feel so much better. My heart goes out to you. Many, Many thanks. I also totally agree with your article. Yeah, be fat, but geez, don’t let everybody else see the rolls.
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Hi Joey, an answer to your question do you think people know but don’t really care? I can honestly say some people just don’t care. I know because I have heard people say I don’t care what I look like, if it’s hot I wear what I want. But please there is a limit. Like me on the blog, I’ve apologized for going overboard with comments a few times. Like I’ve learned, there is a limit…LOL…
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Perfectly said….it’s not about being ” perfect” or the ” perfect-bod” It is about taking pride in yourself, dressing appropriately, ( not high fashion) just clothes that FIT!….get out of your “I lost-my-will-to-live-clothes”!
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Maybe the root of “dishabille” is the word “dishoveled”? Yep…we continue the slippery slope of de-evolution.
Every cornerstone of civilization is being chiseled away by human nature’s appetite for trash. The greedy guys at the top love all the money they’re making by perpetuating a society of the lowest common denominator. I don’t pretend to understand the wiring of those who feel comfortable exposing all their flab for all to see…I just don’t think they are sensitive to it as an “issue”….it’s just not on their radar as a cultural atrocity…and all they have to do is turn on the telly and see themselves glorified by “Jersey Shore.”! Hey…what’s appropriate dressing anyway? In the fifties, it was inappropriate for a lady to wear a dress without stockings, white gloves, and a hat. I give up…we’re living in a time when penmanship and cursive writing is disappearing from grade school education, and proper typing isn’t mandatory either. As long as you can peck at your keyboard, move your thumbs really fast, and sign your name with an “X”…why bother with manners? Slovenly is “in”…or is it just brain damage?
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